If not, I'll take a cheerful glass with you at the City of Oxford, on my way to Tyburn. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. The idea of Ruth as a talisman against misfortune—which he now recognized as a sick man's idea— faded as his appreciation of the absurd reasserted itself. Without her, it was lonely. We shall have—hardly any money. "Ah!" he exclaimed, in a tone of anguish. It's your eagerness that bothers me. It was no marriage at all. She did not therefore reveal to him that he had guaged her with accuracy. But once he had steered the lady down the hall and along a passage to a window seat at the end, he abandoned the subject of society. "Here's a pistol!" cried Thames, darting towards the undischarged weapon dropped by Blueskin in the scuffle, and pointing it at Jonathan.
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